is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
