In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize