I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
