As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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