I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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