i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
