kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
