apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
