if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
