You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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