I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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