Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
this boner is exhausting
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
