I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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