dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
