Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry nevertellin hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(210): View more from Texas

Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks

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(314): View more from Missouri

used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.

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(207): View more from Maine

I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does

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(206): View more from Washington

And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.

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(925): View more from California

Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities

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(517): View more from Michigan

Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.

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(425): View more from Washington

I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.

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(317): View more from Indiana

His dick is social distance approved

(1-317): View more from Indiana

Social distance approved?

(317): View more from Indiana

big enough for me to fuck from six feet away

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