so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Bring me that man meat
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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