I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
