I haven't been this sober since birth.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
