Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
