What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
