walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
