I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
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