I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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