Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
