Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
