You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
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