come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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