so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize