Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
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