Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
one might say we're banned from that church
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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