I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
