I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I think I have vodka in my lungs
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Liz is crying about burritos again.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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