just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
