Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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