Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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