he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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