so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Randomize
