PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
