considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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