It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
