You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
