I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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