Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
