youre lurking in front of me
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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