It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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