I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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