If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
