dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
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