theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
