umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
