the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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