..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
