Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
