Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
40s are totally the cure
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
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