I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
