I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
