I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
