just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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