It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
operation have a gay friend backfired
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
