This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I need help removing her.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
