It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
