I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize